So your man don't like your natural hair?

Some advice if your man doesn't like your natural hair and how to bring him around to understanding and appreciating your natural journey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzuDeAS0Yqo&feature=share

Tonight, for the first time since going natural,  I did twists. Eeze peeze.  Last relaxer was March 2012. Been snipping ever since. Did the final  chop chop last week and have 2 inches of my natural hair to deal with. SWEET!

Photo from a previous natural hair experience

Just found this in my files:

Probably 1991

Sexy Hair Rant

I was a die-hard What Not to Wear fan. That changed the day I heard Nick (the hair stylist) talk about sexy hair. He wanted to straighten a client's lush natural curls. I agreed that her hair needed a trim and a shape to complement her features. He hit her with, "Don't you want sexy hair? Straight hair is sexy hair."

As she hesitated, he went on to extol the versatility, shake, swing and sexiness of straight hair. He wore her down. I on the other hand remained angry over his "straight hair is sexy hair".

This was several months ago. And I am still angry. Of and on, if I come across an episode while surfing cable channels, I might watch it, but I refuse to look at the hair styling session. Don't get me wrong, Nick has styled different types of hair without altering their natural textures but that statement he made had a lasting effect on me. It remains one of the chief inspirations for my going natural.

I understand that people may have preferences for different hair textures but that "straight hair is sexy hair"/"sexy hair is straight hair" is garbage if you are trying to infer that other textures are not. If the issue is sexiness, doesn't kinky, coily and curly hair exude their own kind of sexiness?

More importantly, hair has nothing to do with sex or being sexy. Hair, whatever the texture, is just downright beautiful, when it is well-cared for and styled to complement and/or emphasize a woman's personality.

There! I'm done my rant. It's off my chest. And I feel better. Yes I do.

Want to share your thoughts?

Photo highlights

Highlights from the journey so far.

August 2012

After my first episode with the scissors. Must have cut off about 6 inches and there's no product in my hair.

After an intermediate chop. Dry, frizzy and with no product.

September 2012

After shampooing with Delon Organic Now (no sulphate) Shampoo and conditioning with Delon Organic Now Conditioner. I reapplied the same conditioner as a leave-in. Moisturized with African Pride Shea Butter Miracle Intense Buttery Creme, sealed with Carrot Oil and allowed to air dry. My curl definition is still hidden under about 1 inch of relaxed ends in some areas.

July 2011

Taken by my friend AnnaMaria in July 2011 when we met for the first, time after being online friends for about three years.

September 2006

A photographer took this photo in September 2006 for the debut of my weekly column in the Trinidad Guardian's Womanwise Magazine. I keep my hair natural from about 2004/2005 until September 2011.

The decision to go natural

I lived with natural up to the age of 16. Like so many other young girls, I could hardly wait to press my hair. My mother did it right there in the kitchen. Oh those darn hot combs and the burns. But we pay a price for "beauty" right? As soon as I started working at age 18, I headed to the hair salon and had my hair chemically straightened. After all, all my life, I was led to believe that natural hair was difficult to care for and style.

 In the years after that first straightening adventure, I reverted to my natural hair several times and always with a rush of confidence and freedom.
 But with no information, guidance or examples, I eventually went back to the hair salon to "get my hair done".

I can't remember how long I left my hair in its natural state the last time - maybe about 7 years. I relaxed it last year September 2011. I took this step with some discomfort because I didn't believe it was the best decision. But I did it all the same. Sometimes, we make bad decisions, right?

Six months ago (April 2012) the breakage was the worst ever. I knew I had to do something and chemicals was not the answer. It was the problem. Natural hair was the way to go. I turned into a research junkie and what an education.

Facebook, websites and You Tube - natural hair aficionados reigned - from wannabe's, to newbies, to short-term and long-term transitioners, to big choppers, to women who have been natural all their lives. I knew I was not alone but I had no idea that I was venturing into one of the most helpful and inspiring communities. They were sharing their stories, asking questions, providing answers, advising, encouraging, showing how they "do" their beautiful, natural hair. It was and is wonderful (such an understatement).

Many of the products I see online are not available here in Trinidad and Tobago but I was fortunate to find some that have been treating my hair very well. It has never been so healthy. I'm just so thrilled to be sporting my natural tresses at this time in my life. The confidence, the freedom. And yes - the pride in the mixtures on my head the satisfaction of knowing that I can care for and style my natural hair with great products.